Glimpses

3/16/2008
people standing in line at a grocery store.
silent...dim lighting. clinical feel. nobody moves
forward, no one is served. no one questions why.
no one knows how long they have been there. people
look down at their shoes. they stare off into the distance...
they try to do anything but look or talk to each other. a great
dread pervades the store. anticipation hangs heavy like fog
in the room but there is no release.

3/18/2008
three pack little trees...do not enter...cool cab...orange...
training bus. shoes shined, black mirrors at the bottom
of his pants...lazily leaning on the gate...talking into a box...
"green line covered, we'll get him at the next stop...don't
confuse the issue"...i saw my sunglasses in his shoe and it startled
me. i pivoted my eyes back up, straight ahead and then at the sky.
palm trees reaching up into sunwashed blue. hot air blew across
my face and i sighed thinking of palm trees, sand in stray patches
collected against the edges of the sidewalk and the sound of the
freeway from just beyond the Hilton that never seems to cease...
the security guard walked on and i turned the music back up and
forgot about where i was and why i was there.

4/6/2008
she said...later.

the sun, the sea.
do you see the jewels bobbing up
on the surface of the water?

start yr. life...right...nnnnow!

...8 pm

keep coming back whyncha?
"who the heeelll are you anyway?"

beautiful...just beautiful.

4/13/2008
LOOK:
i woke up this morning at 1:45, shaking, covered in cold sweat,
back in the city. labyrinth of streets, buildings, guards, fences.
always dark. i was trying to score. overwhelming sickness.
i walk into a section with stores surrouding a courtyard.
completely dark expect for one street light. shadows move
up and down the alleys which occur every two blocks or so,
leading away from the courtyard. under street light, bench.
on bench young man. sit next to him and he stands.
leads me soundlessly into darkened alley. feel him put
something into my hand. i give him dirty sweaty money.
i run out into the courtyard, back tracking the through city
over grates, over bridges, taking shortcuts through stores
which lead onto endless sidewalks, streets, people, faceless,
shuffling quickly nowhere....feels like i am running for hours
in circles. eventually i crawl up into a ball under a street lamp
on a bench and weep. i cannot fix in the city but there is no
exit. something stirs next to me. my connection is back,
sitting there impassively picking his teeth with a toothpick,
waiting for the next customer.