Care of Herman Munsen

Herman was a shadow. but-he still existed. his lungs took in the air around him. his mouth recieved the food that his long sufferingdaughter spoon fed him thrice daily. his penis still expelled the water which he drank. his anus spilled out increasingly loose and irregular bowels. his body itched when he refused to bathe more than twice a week. it ached when his pain medicine wore off and it screamed for more. his toenails still grew and required clipping as all men's toes do. in short-herman was still there in a physical sense. mentally he was nothing more than an ever rotting turnip. he lay prostrate in his bed day in and day out staring at the wall, out the window-when it was open-or-if it was closed-at the varyin grays of sunlight or shafts of shadows stretching long across the floor and out and under the door of his room which he did not leave. herman was incapable of leaving his room. his legs no longer responded to his orders. and even if they did they had atrophied dueto years of laying in this bed. you could say that herman was aprisoner in his own body if there was any thought in his head tomake him human. but there wasn't. herman was the living dead.herman was cared for by his eldest daughter-iris. she had beengiven this name at birth because it was her mother's favorite flower.her mother was dead too. only-she was in the ground and no longerbreathed. she couldn't eat food anymore. iris had thought-at hermothers funeral-how funny it would be to try and force food down herthroat.-practice-she thought. practice for when my father finally looses control his throat muscles. down the gullet mummy. mmmm. this peasoup is yummy. why mummy you don't look at all like you enjoy yourpea soup. you said to me in grunts and squeals that it was yourfavorite just the other day. i heard your stomach rumbling when ibrought it in on a tray. and look-it is spilling all down your chin.now, where are your manners. if you are going to behave like a beastperhaps i should treat you as such. and on and on the wheels turned in iris' mind standing there by hermothers coffin. she had to stiffle a laugh. people looked at her insilent awe and grief. so torn by her mothers death. look how shegazes into her eyes...inside iris laughed and laughed. old bitch. left me to care for yourbrain dead husband.just then herman let out a sound not unlike a ballon as it is slowlydeflated. herman didn't know what was going on. he thought he wasat a ballon factory. old bitch-iris thought.after the funeral iris' disposition lightened considerably. shedecided to go about her daily tasks with solemn grace and patience.i shall be mother theresa- she thought.this lasted one week.after that-she began to buy her father dog food. she fed it to himin a great laddle. he recieved baby food if she was in a good mood.herman could not tell the difference between food for grown humansand food for domesticated animals and very new humans. his stomachrumbled all the same.iris' mistreament of her father had been going on for six months. if family were to visit-which was rare because who or what was left to visit?-it necesscitated great changes in the decor and feeling and tone of the house. it was a fucking pain in the ass .sometimes if iris was really feeling in a sour mood. if she had-perhaps-thought about her failed career in adverstising. her failed love life. her generally lack of friends-she always put the blame on poor herman. it was then that she "forgot" to give him his medicine. hermans body noticed this. his legs began to write in agony and his arms flailed about as if looking for something.she would always relent though when she looked into his dumb glassyeyes. she swore she could see his mind suffering helplessly in theresomewhere. hermans brain was too far gone for him to notice theagony of withdrawl consciously.but his body felt it keenly. this arrangement continued-as i have said-for some months.
Feb. 20, 2008
Lunar eclipse tonite. Dad loved watching celestial wonders. I remember faintly as a child peering into a telescope-supported by two telephone books-which peered out of mom and dad's bedroom window.Mom wanted to go to sleep. Dad wanted me to see Venus. Remember asking him if we-humans that is-had ever been there.-Nope he said. Faintly recall him telling me that grandad said his first word was moon. Too bad the old bastard's got the brain of a jelly fish now. He would love to get out his old telescope and look at that eclipse tonite. Yep. Watching the moon go out. Like a lamp. Or dad's mind. Wonder when the old bastard will be dead? Should I feel guilty?No bother. Dad is dead. Dead is dad. Is Dad Dead? Is he? Is He?
At 9:15 pm Herman Munsen was awakened by an unearthly sound. Eyes opened with a start. Herman's mind slowly register the sound of a choir of women singing to him. If there had been anyone to see it-the casual observer would have seen the blank stare of idiocy slowly recede from the eyes of Herman Munsen. Herman Munsen was awakefor the first time in two years. Herman Munsen could register his surroudings. No more twitching insect futility. No more reactions like a struck knee.
Herman Munsen tore the sheet from around his frail withered body.
-Is that dog food I taste in my mouth?
Herman went to the window on little cat feet. Withered old woman fingers pried open the blinds and he bent his old pumpkin face to look up into the sky. Black holes burned into his eyes.
-I sees a woman up there in the sky. But shes gots the voice of damn near fifty of em.
Herman closed his eyes. He opened them. Still there hanging in the sky. Herman started for the door. He opened it. Down the hall of his house and into the living room he stepped. The TV was on. Hermanc ouldn't make out what was on the screen. All blurred like an impressionist painting. A person lay in his comforter. Her face was all scratched out like someone had taken a pen to a photograph.
Iris Munsen awoke slowly. Her mind was fogged with sleep. She looked up to see the transparent figure of her father looking with bemusement at her face.-God, smoked too much weed
Herman looked around the room. He was puzzled. The whole room was like Chinese writing. He couldn't understand or process none of it. But that Voice! That Voice was calling to him. Herman didn't know how to get out.
-Don't make no sense neither way.
Eyes closed again he listened. He listened and followed. And with his little steps he went right for the door and out into the snow. It was cold outside. Kentucky generally can be in February.But Herman felt nothing. Outside was all squiggly too.
-Damn if it don't make no sense neither.
That Voice raised Herman Munsen's head on a string like a wooden dummy. Into the sky went his eyes. His gaze met the fullest brightest moon he ever did see. So bright and beautiful. This picture was coming in crsytal clear. This was something that Herman Munsen could see. Herman sat down in the snow feeling not the slightest bit of cold. Transfixed-Herman watched as someone spilled ink over that bright lamp in the sky-slowly-slowly putting it out.
And just as the moon was put out so too was Herman. Herman sat in that spot-a beautiful a capella choir singing for him as the moon completed her cycle. Crisp clear night all around him. And as the bulb burned out Herman Munsen saw white. White White White all around nothing but white. Carried out on a long white flash blinding and trembling. Singing him home.